@ojedge: [Michael Cera knocked backwards by ejecting toast]
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@BuckyIsotope: *pregnant wife wakes up* I think my water broke *I hide the Kool-Aid packet and water jug I spilled in bed* Let’s go to the hospital
@LuckoftheDraw86: "You can't stand there." "Not there, either." "Nope that spot's taken, too." -Ground hogs
@FloodyHippie: A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.