@EndhooS: [Michael Cera melting like a slug because there's too much salt on his fries]
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@thatUPSdude: I don't believe in mythical creatures like dragons, unicorns, Lock Ness Monster, drama free women. Just joking, I believe in Nessie.
@PaperWash: [wife gets home] did you feed the baby his spinach today? [me doing push ups] hell no I'm not letting that baby get stronger than me
@Swain_Train47: Jim: What shall we name our new playground invention? Roy: Idk. The playground business sure is a Jungle, Jim. Jim: ...Say that again.