@EndhooS: [Michael Cera melting like a slug because there's too much salt on his fries]
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@Curly_gurl135: Just got every hair on my body waxed off except eyebrows and head. I look like a naked mole rat. Men, come & get me if you're into rodents.
@madeleinedoux: Judge: *whispering* pls stop introducing yourself like this just because u work in my chambers it doesn't m- Me: YES HI IM HIS CHAMBERMAID
@fro_vo: [job interview] Interviewer: are you familiar with microsoft word Me: yes i've heard that word many times