@TheToddWilliams: *Michael Cera stubs his toe on a cotton ball*
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@LuvPug: Nobody ever mentions one of the greatest joys of being a parent is mocking your kids in an annoying voice, repeating what they whined about
@TwatWaffler69: I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children.
@beefman138: I will never refer to 'drunk me' or 'sober me' because that implies the second one exists.