@yendys1: Michael Cera, too timid to send his food back even though he's allergic to almonds, eats a meal and politely goes into anaphylactic shock.
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@The_MartiniGirl: Getting caught under your desk and coming up with nothing in your hand is always so hard to explain.
@SteveSuckington: Fun prank: 1: steal your married friends phone 2: change your name to "Brandi from the club" 3: call them repeatedly and hang up at 3AM
@TheToddWilliams: COP: Your home was robbed ME: Dang I had a self-designed alarm system C: Didn't work M: Back to the drawing board C: They stole that M: Dang
@krishna_van: Mistook a discarded plastic bag for a rat today as the wind blew it across my path. On the plus side, I can now perform the 'Gangnam Style'.