@adult_keverage: Michael Phelps & I have a combined 19 gold medals & 4 DUI's.
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@Playing_Dad: 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance - My stages of getting ready for work
@EJGomez: "dad mom wont tell me where babies come from" *dad slams newspaper down* DAMN THAT WOMAN & HER SECRETS *clenches fists* WHY WONT SHE TELL US
@EndhooS: [Commercial for axes] [A lumberjack swinging a dead goat against a tree in the woods] *Turns to camera* "There has to be a better way?"
@ibid78: I put my pants on just like everyone else. With the help of my twelve most trusted cats.