@adult_keverage: Michael Phelps & I have a combined 19 gold medals & 4 DUI's.
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@Lazer_Cat_: The Terminator would have been better if they'd cast Jim Parsons. "Bazinga" is so much better than "I'll be back."
@dinokitten: *at adoption center* "Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"
@bourgeoisalien: I make all my clothing choices based on what I would look like if I'm unexpectedly asked to bounce on a trampoline at some point in the day.