@adult_keverage: Michael Phelps & I have a combined 19 gold medals & 4 DUI's.
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@BriarSly: Well, if anything, the Mayans DID teach us ONE valuable lesson. If you don't finish something...it's really not the end of the world.
@ThisOneSayz: Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon.
@GrabTheWEness: It was an unfortunate incident, but at least Doug learned he should never lick his light saber after using it to cut chocolate cake.
@AtticusFinch79: *takes off pants* *crawls into bed* Security Guard- Lady, this is Macy's *crawls out of bed* *puts on pants* SG- Those aren't your pants