@Elizasoul80: Michael Phelps just won another gold medal for taking the quickest bath.
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@LoneWolfStories: Autocorrect changed smell to spell but you know what? Your spelling is horrible too.
@rockymomax: [buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely
@michaelianblack: Got to admire these NFL players who are so committed to their jobs of beating the shit out of people that they do it even in their off time.
@KamanCider: Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you because drugs are expensive.