@FSUSteve: Michelle Obama should have dropped the mic and moonwalked out.
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@gerryhallcomedy: My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine.
@DamienFahey: If you don't have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral.
@moooooog35: Wife [walking into house]: Ummm.. Me: [recreating "You Better Shape Up Scene" from Grease with my dog dressed as Sandy]: You're home early.
@iYoungKhalifa: If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage..