@Jandalize: Microwave broke and I had to cook on the stove like freaking Betty Rubble.
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@WongLipJun: Rules for rap battling Eminem: 1. Do not let Eminem go first. 2. Do not let Eminem go second.
@JediGigi: Boss: I need you to come into work at 7 instead of 9 tomorrow. Me: Can't. Boss: Why? Me: I'll be asleep until 8:30.
@GrantTanaka: son: I don't think he likes me wife: your dad just has a hard time showing affection me: [holding bag of doritos] GOD I LOVE DORITOS