@Jandalize: Microwave broke and I had to cook on the stove like freaking Betty Rubble.
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: What’s “saying grace?” Me: It’s when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave?
@Book_Krazy: Every time I eat a cookie in bed, I imagine it screaming "I'M GONNA CRUMB" because I have something wrong with me
@Sickayduh: Me: Guess what Her: What Me: The opposite of Aquaman Her: ... Me: Is Landlady Her: ... Me: ... Her: Your rent is still due tomorrow Me: Ok
@RobinMcCauley: A woman started choking in the line at Starbucks- it was so scary but thankfully someone opened another register.