@Jandalize: Microwave broke and I had to cook on the stove like freaking Betty Rubble.
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@balloonsmatt: Your mother and I want you to know that we love you very much, so that’s why we’re getting a divorce and marrying you instead.
@tylerschmall: England's gonna have a rude awakening when they go to war and all their knights are actors and musicians.
@EliTerry: "looks like a burrito fell out his pocket, hes crawling up to get it and crying. thats gonna cost points" - commentators on my snowboard run