@MandiAtRandom: Might be time to get in shape. Halfway up these stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
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@WornOutMommy: I offer kid $1 to do a chore. He sticks dollar in pocket. I get dollar back on laundry day. Lather. Rinse. Repeat!
@thepatrickwalsh: "Be there in 5," I text, though I am 30 minutes away, completely nude, and engaged in a fist fight with a neighbor.
@Xoolun: My wife tells me she wants me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I'm thinking about getting her a treadmill.