@MandiAtRandom: Might be time to get in shape. Halfway up these stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning.
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@SnackMomSyndrom: If something happened to me today, my legacy would be how much my kids say "like"
@Mr_Kapowski: [Grandma's funeral] GIRL: *crying* BOY: Bae, I know what will make you feel better *opens casket to reveal PROM? spelled in carnations*
@neptunemoons: "Mom! Mom! Hold this cockroach while I grab the lizard!" --Things I honestly never imagined I'd hear as a parent
@neiltyson: A curious tradition -- to look at a newborn baby and say to yourself, "Because of your DNA, one day you will rule over me."