@YoungNobler: Mike Pence has a strong resume, including Governor of Indiana and Shawshank Prison Guard. #VPDebate
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@shkeeber: 1. Find homeless man. 2. Bathe him. 3. Wash & patch up his clothes. 4. Give him a record player. 5. Congratulations, you own a hipster.
@BromanConsul: GOD: hey can I have one of your ribs Adam: what for GOD: uhh science project Adam: you hate science GOD: look do u wanna get laid or not
@SCbchbum: I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see.
@aneesa_p: Contrary to popular belief, when I call tech support, I don't know what the Indian dude is saying either.