@TheTweetOfGod: "Miley Cyrus: 'Society Wants to Shut Me Down'". Not down, Miley. Up.
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@KentWGraham: Don’t believe cartoons. No matter how hard you throw a toilet plunger, it won’t actually stick to someone’s face.
@torrami: When hubs is sleeping I put my Care Bear blanket on him and take the most adorable blackmail photos ever.
@24HourBitching: Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
@Kyle_Lippert: Give a man a fish & he'll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That's weird" Teach a man to fish & he'll be all "Again with the fish?"