@bombsydoll: milk duds: when you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw
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@Hadzilla: At the last supper Jesus was probably like it would be way more comfortable for everyone if some of you sat on the other side of the table
@dildointherough: Dating tip: Photoshop yourself into some of her selfies. Women love guys who are good with computers.
@Chumpstring: COP: step outta the car ME: k COP: are u carrying any drugs ME: [a mousetrap is in my pocket] i don't remember but i do consent to a search