@bigmacher: Milk prices could reach as high as $8/gallon soon & at those prices I'm giving everyone the OK to cry if you spill some.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@noduffers: I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you're looking for metaphors, I'm probably the grapefruit.
@SocialExtortion: fun prank: text a girl "we need to talk right now" and then throw your phone into a river
@JesKeepSwimming: "So tell me more about yourse-PUT DOWN MY FRIES IF YOU WANT TO WALK OUT OF HERE WITH ALL 4 LIMBS INTACT." - What not to say on a first date.
@jonnysun: "fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u. fool me once, shame on u" - a goldfish :(