@jamiesont: Millennials are so spoilt with their smartphones & tablets. All we had at their age was the ability to buy property in Central London.
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@berniethoughts: WHY DO WE ALLOW OTHER COUNTRIES TO TAG THEIR NAME ON TO SOMETHING AND SELL US LIES WHEN THEY DO IT WRONG? CANADIAN BACON? ENGLISH MUFFINS?
@LeviathanPride: Guys at work are always like "why are your shorts so short?" Then I spin kick an inch away from their face with such precision and they know
@Playing_Dad: Me: You want to watch a horror movie for Halloween? Dog: Sure, put it on Me: *turns on Dyson vacuum infomercial*
@KattsDogma: Photographer: Ok. You two hold hands, & u, in the back, hold a gun to that guy's head. Nice. I'll add blush in post.