@QwertyJones3: Million dollar idea: Dating website for leopards called Connect the Dots
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@BeCoco77: He told me he was my daddy during sex. Then he acted all weirded out when I started crying and asked him to pay off my student loans.
@daemonic3: I'm going to run errands, need anything? "Yes, some new light bulbs" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? "And a good divorce lawyer"
@leslid79: I wear my heart on my sleeve because if I wore it on my chest, it'd just get mustard stains on it.