@mrtruthandsoul: Million dollar idea: let's start a Twitter swear jar
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@Brampersandon_: BOSS: There's limited parking at the event so we are going to carpool ME (pulling a pair of floaties out of my desk drawer): oh hell yeah
@SassMouth8: Told my kid not to touch the floor of the bathroom, so he licked the doorknob instead. The dumb is strong in this one.
@bazecraze: Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.
@WildeThingy: I wish young people would stop idealising future dystopias and start enjoying the one they're in.