@SuperApple8: Millions are killed each year because they go potty without checking behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: Women prefer to become ghosts in the afterlife because WE'RE NOT DONE WITH YOU YET
@MariyaAlexander: Your Harvard education doesn't make me respect you more - it makes me respect Harvard less.
@davidkenny100: I live on the edge Her: cool It's scary Her: So sexy I almost fell once Her: Oh! You actually live.. My home insurance is so expensive
@NYC_Blonde: "You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you're at the gym when really you're out shopping" is the title of my autobiography.