@NoChillPosts: MIND BLOWN
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@QueefTornado: Wife was feeling kinky last night so she got naked and I tied her to the headboard, then me and my buddy ordered pizza and played X-Box.
@NakedWhiteAss: Hey guys, which cell phone provider drops the most calls? I need to get one for my mom.
@samfromks: My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar.