@AnOrangeSNES: Mini-horses are like mini-donuts, you can't just eat one
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@DanOverHere: -Boss: "Send me one of your funny tweets" -Me: "I'm working at the moment, I'll send you one later" -Boss: "Hahaha! Send me another one."
@iFluff8: Men ask us if we're naked when we tell them we're taking a bath. THAT'S why they pay more for their car insurance.
@Cpin42: When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts.
@SodomyClown: If you're going to boast non stop about your pregnancy at least give birth to something fun like a puppy, a bouncy castle or a bag of weed.