@KKBowls: Mini M&M's - for when you just can't finish an entire M&M
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@MichaelTrying: "I am out of the office. If you need immediate help please contact customer service." "Dude this isn't email I'm standing in front of you."
@VerbsRProudest: When someone accuses you of being defensive, you can't deny it without sounding defensive. Just hurl a flower pot. No one expects that.
@SteveDutzy: Give a man a fish and he'll go to McDonald's instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald's