@iscoff: Mirror mirror on the floor, who's the worst at home decor?
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@bananagrvyrd: Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree
@velvettusk: My dog is coming home from surgery today and I hope he did ok. He can’t afford another malpractice suit.
@InigoUnleashed: 'Your place or mine?' Is the sexiest response to the question: 'Where shall we bury the body?'
@Tmoney68: Ladies, if he tells you he's 6 feet & 4 inches, be sure those aren't two separate measurements.