@noog: Mirror mirror on the wall, can I call you Jim or something cuz I'm not saying mirror mirror on the wall every time. That's just ridiculous
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@Horrorsc0pes: The seven new planets cause havoc with your readings. There is nothing but chaos and pain and, for some reason, hot singles in your area.
@JB4Realz: [PHONE] "TSA, How can I help you?" Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"
@Sassafrantz: At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it.
@UncleDuke1969: A rusted van sits under a bridge. Rats gnaw on moldy Scooby Snacks. Shaggy takes a hit off the pipe. "WHY COULDN'T YOU LOVE ME VELMA?"