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@lovexios: I hate when people text 'call me'. I'm going to start calling people, say 'text me' and then hang up.
@internetluke: Man down! Send in back up! *wife comes rushing in the room* "What happened?!" *i dip another chip in the salsa to rescue the broken chip*
@AimeeHelene1: (what they said) Please do not bring any alcohol on the plane. (what I heard) Please chug all alcohol & slap somebody before boarding.