@Sanbel11: Mirror, mirror on the wall, was the dwarfs' mother high when she named them all?
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@joshgondelman: Walked by a restaurant where they were using iPads for menus. How cheap are iPads now? More importantly, how expensive are menus?
@AndyAsAdjective: *accidentally grabs a fork from the silverware drawer instead of a spoon but I'm too lazy to go back so it takes me 47 min. to eat my soup*
@dinnersruined: DATE: *sighs* You said you were a professional body builder. ME: I am! I make prosthetics. Ha ha! And funny jokes! Wait where are you going?
@KattsDogma: DA: Where r my legal briefs? Paralegal *hands him his boxers* Judge: lol Jury: We're hung Judge: ha! DA: Balls in your court Judge: DO MORE!