@Sanbel11: Mirror, mirror on the wall, was the dwarfs' mother high when she named them all?
@WittySassBasket: I talk a lot of shit for a girl with a blankie.
@RiverClegg: My parent trap worked perfectly. I now have five parents.
@itsa_talia: I'm a nightmare
@MichaelJTiberi: Why is everyone bragging about how great it is to have kids? I slept till noon today, and the only person who threw up last night was me.
@Sir_Strange: "Oh my god, you've gotten so fat! Want me to make you something to eat?"
- my mother