@bourgeoisalien: Misery loves company. But not you. Even Misery has standards.
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@iwearaonesie: *wife walks in* *sees cheese balls everywhere* *shakes head* "what? 8 won't get better at catching food in his mouth if we don't practice"
@justabloodygame: As Caesar dies on the Senate floor, 'With or Without You' starts to play. "U2, Brutus?" He sighs, coughing wearily as the world fades away.
@SkinnieTalls: Hey women, save your money, we just want you wrapped in a bow for Christmas. Wait, don't even worry about buying the bow.