@bourgeoisalien: Misery loves company. But not you. Even Misery has standards.
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@jonnysun: BEYONCE: do u like my album JAY: [thinking to self] if anyone hears this i'll be ruined JAY: [out loud] we should make it a tidal exclusive
@ShawnIzadi: Just overheard a guy say he was buying a MacBook so he doesn't have to worry about the Ebola virus. What.
@BeCoco77: I'll apologize for burning your house down if you apologize for telling me I "overreact."
@seanscrap: Hello, Atheist Ghostbusters? Yes? I have a ghost in my bathroom. No, you don’t. Oh, right. Thanks so much! That’s why we’re here.