@ceejoyner: Misinterpreted some rabbit prints in the snow and told my scout troop to look out for babies running at 35mph.
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@RocketRankoon: Facebook: "Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]
@Kelly_skeleton: Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"