@SirEviscerate: Mispronouncing French phrases can be a real social fox piss.
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@drinksmcgee: I've decided that I'm just going to sit in my boxers and eat cereal all day. In unrelated news, my coworkers are all staring at me.
@prufrockluvsong: All my mom's plants die from being overwatered and that's all you need to know about my childhood and why I'm like this.
@JessicaVarsity: I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone's house on fire. Either way, I'm prepared.