@SirEviscerate: Mispronouncing French phrases can be a real social fox piss.
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@yoyoha: Are there any police officers willing to come to my house in uniform and tell my kids that not listening to me is against the law
@trumpetcake: Eating chocolate pudding from a diaper is a good way to get a whole row to yourself at the cinema.
@justinshanes: Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting.
@Julian_Deane: Let’s move on now. if I had a pound for every time I heard a Brexit joke this week I’d nearly have a Euro.