@SirEviscerate: Mispronouncing French phrases can be a real social fox piss.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife: "What are you doing?" "Having an argument on Twitter" "With a man or woman?" "A lamp."
@Just__J0: A panic attack is hearing your teens laughing in another room at the same time you can't find your phone.
@Malocallidus: I wish IKEA was more like Lego.. on the back of the box it would show you 4 other things you could make from the same materials.