@EJT___: Miss Pissy Face and Mr Crabby Pants in HR told me I am not allowed to make up nicknames for my co-workers anymore.
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@PaperWash: Just saw one of those giant centipedes run though my living room so now I'm gunna sleep with a flamethrower and a full metal jacket.
@tangledteatime: Me: Let me pet your dogs, mister! Him: Not you again. Get outta here! [LATER] Me: *wearing moustache* Excuse me sir