@EJT___: Miss Pissy Face and Mr Crabby Pants in HR told me I am not allowed to make up nicknames for my co-workers anymore.
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@DanaSchwartzzz: ME: lololol can't believe my parents don't understand how to attach a document to an email lolol ALSO ME: what is taxes help i am so confused and also the only thing I can cook is popcorn
@BadJordon: Wearing my bathing suit as underwear in case a random pool party breaks out sounds way better than too lazy to do laundry.
@AbrasiveGhost: ME: What's this bit here? NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your résumé said you were a surgeon ME: My résumé says a lot of things