@EJT___: Miss Pissy Face and Mr Crabby Pants in HR told me I am not allowed to make up nicknames for my co-workers anymore.
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@InternetHippo: ME: Billions of bacteria live on and inside my body INTERVIEWER: I meant tell me about yourself job-wise
@Browtweaten: Employee: Sir you've been in that changing room for half an hour, what are you doing? Me: *Crying* WAITING FOR IT TO WORK
@Michael1979: WARNING: Local youths are challenging passers-by to attempt the world record for how fast a person can climb the oak tree on Pinewick Road. DON'T DO IT. Once you're up the tree, they steal your bicycle. Also, I don't think they timed me so I don't even know if I broke the record
@fro_vo: Me: I'm bored Dad: hi bored I'm dad Me: I'm hungry Dad: hi hungry I'm dad Me: I'm here's 20 dollars Dad: hi here's 20 dollars Me: thanks dad