@EJT___: Miss Pissy Face and Mr Crabby Pants in HR told me I am not allowed to make up nicknames for my co-workers anymore.
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@DamonHunzeker: If you ever get attacked by a shark, don't forget to take a moment and appreciate the statistical improbability of it all.
@primawesome: This transition of power reminds me of when my grandma turned over Thanksgiving duties to my mom and the night ended with police showing up.
@Reverend_Scott: [first date] ME: Don't let her know you're a potato HER: It's really hot in here ME: [starts baking] oh no