@LostCatDog: Missed connections: I was the guy in the Subaru listening to NPR; You were the river I briefly considered driving into.
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@dafloydsta: [boarding plane] ME: Shotgun! COPILOT: Can he do that? PILOT: Looks like you're in economy today, Ted. COPILOT: *clenching fists* Damnit.
@BuckyIsotope: *rolls up to teens on skateboard* Hello kids. Can I interest you in a marijuana party? *pulls out bong with evidence sticker on it* dammit
@KateWhineHall: I don't care what anybody says, my six hours of Black Friday shopping saved me at least $7.50.