@1_swarthy_dude: Missing area man described as boringly conventional, was easily found by multiplying height x width.
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@That_Damn_Duck: At McDonalds Cashier: You total is to tell your kids that you love them Me: Look lady if I loved them I wouldn’t be feeding them this crap
@_NTFG_: DOCTOR: Are you sexually active? ME: Depends on what you mean by active. There are plenty of active volcanos that haven't gone off in years
@funnyordie: Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own.