@1_swarthy_dude: Missing area man described as boringly conventional, was easily found by multiplying height x width.
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@NoogsCorner: When your partner cheats on you, do what every respectable person does. Post their name and phone number on 4Chan.
@Jesssicle: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I'm like "Get outta here boys! I didn't get this chubby by sharing my milkshakes!"
@MondayPajamas: Girl, you don't even know how crazy I am about you.... I'm thinking about digging my mom up so she can meet you.