@1_swarthy_dude: Missing area man described as boringly conventional, was easily found by multiplying height x width.
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@ericacanrant: If you say I'm getting fat again Aunt Betty, I'll make a "anything for 5 dollars" ad on Craigslist with your name and number.
@JohnLyonTweets: I just brushed my hair while wearing a fuzzy sweater and now I can make a streetlight come on by touching it.
@OhHellsYes: I need a car. Hiding in people's trunks and hoping they're going to Wal-Mart isn't working out for me.