@RastaHipsta: Mission Impossible? He's done four of them now. Let's call it "Mission Pretty Hard but Ultimately Doable"
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@juliussharpe: Cologne - because people shouldn't have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: Onions make me cry. HER: It's from a compound called Syn-Propanethial-S-Oxide. ME: I think it's probably cuz an onion killed my parents.
@KatieBurnett: Do people who happily announce their pregnancy know they are going to be stuck with a baby afterwards?
@DadandBuried: I thought toddlers were the most energetic, obsessive, and relentless people on earth. And then someone got mad at me on Facebook.