@lynyrdsbackyard: Mistakenly punched premium at the gas pump today and now I have to sell one of my kids to the circus.
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@trevso_electric: Talking about your ex makes it sound like you're not over them. Hide their body and move on like a normal person.
@blaha_Who: My gf thought it was so cute when she found out I owned a pair of tap shoes Until I got drunk, and put them on
@jazmasta: Everyone said it was a bad idea to store glue in the same cabinet as my rifles but I'm sticking to my guns.