@Tmoney68: Mistletoe is my favorite Christmas tradition that sounds like a cool as shit superpower.
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@3sunzzz: [interview at Bass Pro Shops] So, tell me a little about yourself. Me: *dressed in camouflage* Wait, you can see me?!
@SadPeruna: Until you show me in the corporate dress code where it says masks & capes aren't allowed, I must refuse to reveal my identity to the others.
@junejuly12: If you want some alone time, tell your husband that you're going to watch the Bachelor. Even if you're not.
@YoungNobler: I'm still disappointed that Penguin and Random House merged to become Penguin Random House and not the more hilarious Random Penguin House.