@krishna_van: Mistook a discarded plastic bag for a rat today as the wind blew it across my path. On the plus side, I can now perform the 'Gangnam Style'.
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@TequilaTears: Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
@panmidwest: ME: [walking down the street clearly counting with my fingers] WIFE: you could just- ME: I'm not paying for another Fitbit, Jenn
@thisis_thatguy: I just heard an add on the radio stressing the importance of healthy muscles and it inspired me to bend my elbows more while eating cake.