@prozdkp: Mitt Romney dissing Trump is like when an anime villain from the previous arc teams up to help stop the new billion times more evil villain
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@TheBoydP: Say what you will about Facebook but when my wife sees posts by my extended family, at least I don’t look so bad.
@justabloodygame: The first time God made the universe, he skipped leg day. All men were weeping creatures, who ended in bloody torsos and begged for death.
@Fred_Delicious: [Duck support group] "After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day" *the other ducks nod sympathetically*
@tonka_truk: Saying veganism is too expensive is kind of dumb because like, rabbits do it and they don't even have jobs