@briangaar: Mitt Romney has decided not to run for president. In other news, I have decided not to become a billionaire or play in the NBA.
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@RonAnthonyQuinn: If I ever win the lottery & someone asks me for money I'm going to give them a dollar & say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That's what I did."
@CocoJr: 2016: No way will Trump win the election 2017: No way will President Trump fire all those nukes 2018: No way we're doing what those Apes say
@LizHackett: It's 11:48 PM. You can't sleep. Underneath your bed, there's a creepy rustle, as the clown tries to quietly unwrap and eat a granola bar.