@brothasoul: Mitt Romney: "I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman, and a woman, and a woman..."
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@B1gBrainsMcGee: I'm like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars
@DiamondLou69: I was eating BBQ ribs and my waitress asked me if I wanted a wet nap... ...I told her it wasn't necessary because I had one earlier today.
@ddsmidt: Meltdowns are what happens when you compartmentalize your thoughts, but forget to label them.
@TheCiscoKidder: After clipping my toddler's fingernails for over 2 years, I think I could diffuse a bomb while riding a roller coaster.