@brothasoul: Mitt Romney: "I believe marriage should be between a man and a woman, and a woman, and a woman..."
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@Donnie_Fairburn: [Police sketch artist job interview] "How am I not qualified?" Your resume is a stick figure and a poorly drawn igloo "It's a cat actually"
@AverageCorners: "Grab a Pop Tart!" I tell my kids as I'm mixing up the dogs' breakfasts of organic, grain-free dog food with Greek yogurt and $85 vitamins.
@kwirkyKerri: There are directions with pictures on this underarm deodorant. Yet another disaster avoided.