@AmishPornStar1: Moist people aren't offended by the occasional typo.
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@KentWGraham: ME: My New Year’s resolution is to eat less WIFE: Good! ME: (very, very quietly) …vegetables.
@caperbc75: My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes
@LackOfShame: I've never bitten off more than I can chew, but once I put too much mouthwash in my mouth and couldn't swish it around.
@RealCarrotFacts: On predisents day we honor the big US man himself: Aberham Liclon. Tall, skinny, dry, and cruncy - he was america's carrot