@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Mom asked about a stock she's owned for 20yrs called Amazon & I've mostly been telling her I love her & reminding her my brother never calls
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@sammyrhodes: I wonder if girls got mad on dates in the 1700?s because guys kept checking their treasure maps.
@QwertyJones3: [FBI job interview] "Do you have any self defense training?" *flashback to hiding behind fence from teenagers* Yes I'm skilled at fencing.
@WheelTod: "Pick a card, any card, make sure you memorize it, now put it back with the rest": me, with my wife at the Hallmark Store on Valentine's Day