@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Mom asked about a stock she's owned for 20yrs called Amazon & I've mostly been telling her I love her & reminding her my brother never calls
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@HiddleDeeDee: 7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed? Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie.
@TheDreamGhoul: When someone asks "What's your favorite film?" instead of "What's your favorite movie?" I know instantly that my answer will disappoint them
@danjan13: My gf 1 month in: haha OMG I love your Twitter. I definitely don't think it's weird, it's so clever! My gf 2nd month: listen