@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Mom asked about a stock she's owned for 20yrs called Amazon & I've mostly been telling her I love her & reminding her my brother never calls
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@Sickayduh: [Ring] "Expert Namer Guy" You the dude that named anteater? "Yep" I got a bug. Not moving. Has wings though. "Mayfly" *muffled* oh he's good
@Reverend_Scott: mugger: GIMME UR MONEY "All I have is this $5 grandma gave me on my birthday" [mugger pulls off mask revealing grandma] IT'S PAYBACK TIME
@PoliceBadBoy: Looking for someone to do the heavy lifting when I need a body buried... ~ No weirdos
@AngelaEhh: I'm sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding.