@sskylark: mom did you say we had four bouillon cubes or four billion cubes
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@Julian_Deane: We’ve run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops.
@VodkaThursday: Me:OMG RYAN GOSLING DIED! Oh. His hair. He dyed his hair. Brown. Can U believe that was a story? Husband: I think it worked great. Me:Zip it
@thevickster_sa: When your unicorn and dragon start battling each other, it's time to lay off the Ambien