@sskylark: mom did you say we had four bouillon cubes or four billion cubes
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@BoucheDag2k: Guy getting on elevator in my office building.." Going Down?" Me: "No, but I've got time for a hug"
@3sunzzz: I think the implication that you might want to share your Kit Kat with 3 friends seems unreasonable.
@kcmoore51: [sanitation worker knocks at my door] The amount of McDonald's related trash we're collecting from your home each week has us concerned.
@SortaBad: *hears a man crying in a bathroom stall at work* "Excuse me, are you okay? Because you're kinda stealing my thing"