@BadLuck_Brian: Mom hires magician for birthday party, Voldemort #badluckbrian
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AaronFullerton: Really, every section of the greeting card aisle could be called "Societal Obligation."
@AliceGolightly_: Me: You've dimmed the lights already, aren't we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen.
@KeetPotato: [interview with girl at dating agency] i get shy around pretty girls [girl smiles brushing hair from her face] "are you shy now" not really
@RamblingMachine: If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a shark with gastritis that keeps throwing up people until they all have fun on the beach.