@robwhisman: if you see suicide squad be sure to stay after the credits. lots of people leave half empty containers of popcorn and you can just have them
@AlbertBrooks: I think we should elect Bernie. When Isis hears a Jew is president they will all have heart attacks and die.
@GrowlyGrego: Dear Abby,
My pastor insists that being gay is wrong, yet he ends all his letters with the words "In Him"
Help!
Perplexed in Poughkeepsie
@peteholmes: "Honey, have you seen the baby? I haven't seen the baby since I asked you to throw out the bath wat--OH DEAR GOD!!" - birth of an expression
@KeetPotato: me: "leave the door ajar on your way out"
jam salesman: [visibly confused]
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