@jenlaw_11: Mom I'm running away! No I don't need a jacket! Mom no I'm fine I don't need a jac- mom! No I don't need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!
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@JeremyKCMO: You drunkenly fall into one bathtub with your pants around your ankles, breaking the curtain rod and all of a sudden, everyone is a critic
@gerryhallcomedy: A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as "ruthless" since then. People are pissed.
@7_Cents: Good Cop: *reaches for his gun* Intimate Moment Cop: *reaches for the same gun and their hands touch*