@2tickytacky: Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor.
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@naughtywriter2: At my funeral - The pastor: "She was truly an angel that fell from heaven" My ex, whispering to my other ex: "So was Lucifer!"
@AtticusFinch79: [McDonald's drive thru] ME: i'd like a happy meal with a coke HIM: will that be a regular coke or an eight ball?
@shegotagronk: Pretty cool that there's no law saying you can't name your kid Squidward if you want.
@Vice_Queen: I'm Indian but not "able to read sanskrit" Indian so slow down there Raj, aside from the heart eye emojis I have no idea wtf your DM means.