@2tickytacky: Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn't argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor.
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@BoozeWallet: MOM: always open the door for a lady [later on date] ME: Let me get that for you [reaching under stall door for lock] please stop screaming
@pixelatedboat: I was bitten by a crow, since then I've had the proportionate strength, speed, and agility of a guy who is bleeding from the head a bit