@runninforwine: Mom said I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. So I became sarcastic.
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@that1bish27: "I traded my carpet in for bare floors" --coworker. "Oh, me too. I love the shaved look.", said me. Apparently, she really meant carpet.
@Lazer_Cat_: The Terminator would have been better if they'd cast Jim Parsons. "Bazinga" is so much better than "I'll be back."
@Adar79Angie: When I bend down to feed the cat she leaps onto my back.When I try to stand back up it's the saddest tiny rodeo you've ever seen.