@simoncholland: Are we sure the wise men who brought frankincense and myrrh weren't just trying to sign Mary up for their essential oils pyramid scheme?
@ArfMeasures: MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead
ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE
@longwall26: Detective Baby: We got you dead to rights, dirtbag.
*suspect puts face in hands*
Detective Baby: HE'S ESCAPED
@HeyoShellz: Oh honey, when I said I wanted to grind your face I meant with a meat grinder
@CVTBaby: Dating tip:
Don't offer to pay.
It's a sign of weakness.
Build trust through mutual agreement to steal.
No one suspects the "happy couple."
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