@JediGigi: Mom said I should only date "a good man" and I was like HEAVENS TO BETSY I WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS PERTINENT INFORMATION BEFORE NOW.
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@simoncholland: Are we sure the wise men who brought frankincense and myrrh weren't just trying to sign Mary up for their essential oils pyramid scheme?
@ArfMeasures: MURDERER: [looking for me] You better of hidden well or you're dead ME: [under bed, tears in my eyes] It's better HAVE
@longwall26: Detective Baby: We got you dead to rights, dirtbag. *suspect puts face in hands* Detective Baby: HE'S ESCAPED