@iwearaonesie: MOM STOP LICKING YOUR FINGER TO CLEAN MY FACE I'M IN A GANG NOW
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@darkmatter_wimp: At the club, a 6'1" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win.
@robdelaney: I #respectfully #trot when you let me cross the street in front of you. I salute the #power of the automobile.
@TheAmecha: Congrats, you've been selected for the job Me: Whats the salary? 10k now and will increase to 25k later Me: Ok then, I will come later