@HatfieldAnne: Mom used to say the only accessory a fashionable girl needs is a virtuous reputation. But it's bracelets.
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@JediGigi: Friend: I need your advice. Me: Wear less eyeshadow. Friend: I meant about my love life. Me: Friend: Me: Friend: Me: Wear less eyeshadow.
@stephenjmolloy: Barber: "How would you like your hair cut, sir?" Me: "With scissors." Barber: "Very good, sir." *puts samurai sword down*