@JohnLyonTweets: Mom, you're embarrassing me in front of the hostages!
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@kyry5: [God creating the stingray] Ya know Peter, I was getting out of the shower this morning and thought "what if I made my bathmat a murderer?"
@scorpiusryan21: Surprised to hear five people were shot at a Chris Brown show, most notably because why were there that many people at a Chris Brown show?
@NotThatKristi: We're adults. It's bad enough we selfie. Don't make it worse with the surprise face selfie