@ohwrigley: Mommy? Does Barbie come with Ken? No dear, she comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.
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@vladchoc: The janitor squints at the unfinished equation, picks up the chalk and scrawls methodically. Soon all the eights have top-hats like snowmen.
@1followernodad: me: how can Americans be so arrogant? also me: *is mad when United States is listed alphabetically instead of at the top of a list*
@RandomManik: Every crime show turns into sitcom when the cops bring the husband for questioning and he asks, "Why would anyone want to kill their wife?"
@dildointherough: Dating tip: Photoshop yourself into some of her selfies. Women love guys who are good with computers.