@ohwrigley: Mommy? Does Barbie come with Ken? No dear, she comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: All of my best fantasies include a French maid. She cleans the house while I nap.
@naazihah: "Do me a solid" just sounds like you're asking someone to poop for you and that's kinda gross.
@MikalBershawn: *Kanye trips and falls* SUCH A GENIUS! WHAT A POETIC DEMONSTRATION OF HOW HIS ANCESTORS FELL TO SLAVERY AND ROSE AGAIN *jaden smith cries*
@philmann: [me narrating a documentary about narrators] "I can't hear what they're saying cuz I'm talking"